My experience at SOTE 🌙

 My experience at SOTE 🌙

I had the most life changing weekend of my life. 

I attended my fav DJ, Svdden Death’s, music festival in Pelham, Tennessee called Summoning of the Eclipse. This is a heavy dubstep, riddim, and bass scene. This was going to be my first time attending a festival solo, on the east coast, and flying alone. 

I usually go with friends, but didn’t have anyone to join me. I figured this would be a great experience, especially since I would have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. 

I was nervous, excited, and a bit anxious, but I knew everything would be okay. I met a group of girls on Radiate that I would be sharing a hotel with, and had been talking to a bunch of people that were in a group chat and made friends with. I was so excited to finally meet these people I’ve been chatting with for months. And meeting some of them has felt like I’ve known them forever. 

My flight from CA to TN was long and arduous. From 7am to 2am, I was traveling. Time change doesn’t help either.  I had a connecting flight, which sucked from boredom. But I spent most of my flight crying and texting which I won’t get into LOL. Getting to the airport, getting a rental car took about two hours. It was a long journey but I was happy to finally make it. The girls I met are so nice and sweet, I was glad to have them as new festie besties.

Day 1:

We were about 30 minutes away from the venue. I wore a black harness bodysuit with a chain and leash and skull fishnets. I looked SO GOOD. The girls were wearing matching black bodysuits as well. Getting there was simple, and entering on the first day wasn’t so bad. 

Upon entering, the beautiful sound of riddim graced my ears. As well as all the amazingly hot ravers I saw. Everyone was LITERALLY my type. Edgy, tattoos, piercings, and colored hair. Plus, the summoning cloaks made me feel like a badass dark wizard roaming around. I LOVED it. The red capes were a VIBE. 

The entrance was a great picture spot. I took so many photos there with friends, and took other groups’ photos. The walkway to the festival is a forest with spooky, red, colorful projections. I was in love. I felt like I was at Disneyland, and had the pure glee and excitement of a child. After a nice stroll, the venue opens right up to the main stage, Eclipse. The merch booth is right when you enter as well!

First things first - run to merch. Muerte was playing as soon as I arrived and I LOVED being able stand in line while vibing to him. 

What I bought:

• 1 SOTE beanie 
• 1 SOTE hoodie 
• 1 Svdden Dearh crew neck 
• I SOTE drawstring bag 
• 1 red SOTE cloak
• 1 SOTE playing cards
• 1 Svdden Death cards shirt
• and 1 VOYD skull (jk I wish)

Yeah uh.. I have a problem. (Don’t ask). After getting everything, my group headed to the porta potties while I checked out the drinks. Vodka cranberry in hand, I was vibing hard to Muerte and made my first friend! He gave me a rubber duck, and we had a heartwarming conversation. My friends found me, and we continued on to the CAVE!!

The entrance to the cave is on a nice little path. When you first see it, you can see the red lights glistening. It is GORGEOUS. Activated my inner child joy again. I danced inside and saw how spookily wonderful it looked inside. Raving in a cave to spooky dubstep? Fuck yeah. I loved the intimate setting of the cave, however it got hot in there easily (which sucked during the day but was great at night). The acoustics actually didn’t sound very loud, and the space was limited, but it was overall really fucking cool. 

So - first day was the chiller day.. it was mostly just to get a feel for comfort of the festival vibes. 

Drugs I consumed:

• 1 edible
• a few alcoholic seltzers (maybe like 5 throughout the day?)
• 1 pressed ecstasy pill 
• 2 bumps of ketamine (my first time and I actually had a k-hole)

Yeah… I guess that’s chill.

Sets I LOVED:

• Muerte 
• Vampa
• Gentlemen’s club
• MVSTERHVND

They were so fire. So, I took my pill shortly after Muerte ended, and it kicked in around Vampa. I didn’t have any party favors for today (our friend was bringing them day 2), so I didn’t plan on doing anything too crazy. Until.. my generous new friend offered me one, and of course I love giving in to peer pressure. So, as it’s hitting, I met this girl that’s a friend of my friend. She offers me some K. I get excited because I say I’ve always wanted to try it. She gives me one small bump since it’s my first time. 

My K Experience:

The first bump was not bad, but I hated the feeling of sniffing shit up my nose. It was fast and easy, and I felt like my motor functions were slightly slowing down. About 15 minutes had passed, and I told the girl I didn’t feel anything. She then said it’s supposed to be instant, and gave me another bump. This one was slightly more. I sniffed it, and instantly felt a wave of dizziness hit me. I was like, oh fuck, the first bump is hitting now… *insert “heh, I’m in danger” meme. I realized I had fucked up. Thankfully, I was with one of my great friends who was taking care of me the whole time (much love fr). 

I started to lose feeling in my limbs. It made me nauseous and dizzy to open my eyes so all I wanted to do was lay there with my eyes closed. I began to feel disconnected from my body, having an out of body experience. I could still hear and feel everything around me, the music, and my friend patting my head, but I couldn’t speak or move. I wouldn’t say I blacked out, but I was more so in a vegetative state. It was really scary. 

I had a powerful, short rush of euphoria that only lasted about a few seconds. Then, the awareness kicked in. “Holy shit, I can’t move my body.” My mind is racing, and my visuals are intense. 

I felt like my soul was drifting in the universe, jumping through dimensions and portals. It was insane. I had never felt something so intense and frightening before. Almost like tripping on a deliriant. But I couldn’t do anything but just lay there and finish it. If you didn’t know, some people would describe a k-hole (when you do too much K) essentially as being stuck in a zombie like dissociative state. It’s also been known as having the same sensation as a “near death experience.” I think I was in there for about an hour or so, but it felt like forever. 

I had powerful, intense “visions” that scared the shit out of me. My worst fears and insecurities were laughing in my face. I was getting flashbacks of my life in an instant. Seriously, like in the movies. It took me awhile to get out of that state. My friends were around me, but they just assumed I was really tired. I slowly started to regain feeling in my hands. I opened my eyes, still slightly dizzy, and see my friend next to me. She asks me if I’m okay, and I just said “I was in a k-hole.” And her eyes went wide. 

It was definitely traumatic. I was just sitting there in silence, not moving. I didn’t know how to process everything that happened. It was mostly frightening, but I also slightly enjoyed it. I enjoyed feeling so free and detached from my physical body. I felt like I could finally go wherever I wanted to. I was roaming the galaxies, a meteor blasting through space at light speed. I absolutely love ascending to higher planes, and although this was slightly scarier than most psychedelic trips, it was the intensity and spiritual one-ness that made me enjoy the effects of K. I definitely should have tried it in a safe space, with a trusted friend, but I had never had easy access to K before. Also, I was in a “fuck it, we ball” mood. 

More side notes on my opinion of K:

• I’ve heard that it is used as horse tranquilizer. And that sometimes is used to roofie women. I know now how possible and scary that could be. I was laying there, half frightened that someone would take advantage of me and I couldn’t stop it. It’s actually a perfectly terrible date rape drug. Because you could feel and hear everything still, but you can’t move or scream. You feel absolutely powerless. Absolutely horrifying to think about how  many people have been destroyed by that. 

So yeah. I slept like a baby.

Day 2:

I knew day 2 was going to be the best because I had bought the after party, which was VOYD in the cave. The festival is from 12pm to 12am, and the after party is from 1am to 4am. So I knew I had a night full of debauchery ahead. 

The girls and I got ready, and our other friends arrived just in time for the party! I was wearing my riddim top, skull pasties, and assless chaps. I had packed an extra bag of clothes to take with in case I get into some debauchery. 

We saw Aweminus, Space Wizard, and most of the Eclipse DJ’s. 

Drugs I consumed today:

• 2 white Molly capsules
• 1 2CB pill 
• 2 bumps of K

I don’t really remember a lot of day 2. But I do remember one of the most magical moments happening. 

I met up with a good friend, let’s call them Alex. Alex and I met up their group, where we all sat down and chilled for a bit. This is when my Molly and 2CB start kicking in. The visuals were nice, smooth and soft like mushrooms. Not too overpowering. I was enjoying my high. Their friends gave me more bumps of K (bless those girls) and Alex and I got up to explore and walk around. 

We were vibing pretty hard. Laughing, giggling, holding hands. I start to get really affectionate and giggly. We notice Kill Safari is on, so we chill on these giant rocks on the back of the venue and just start cuddling. Instantly, I felt like was melting in their arms. Everything just felt so warm and cozy. I was highly enjoying the quality time. Suddenly, after talking, laughing and cuddling, we turn towards each other and we kiss for the first time. 

Now. I’ll try to explain what I felt the best way that I can. As soon as our lips touched, I had an intense “vision.” Their lips were so soft and warm, too. All I could see in my mind were neurons connecting together. Like, a timeline had just clicked into place. A puzzle had been solved. It just seemed like everything made sense. I felt like I knew Alex in a past life. I felt so safe, happy, protected. Like we had been friends in many lifetimes and we finally found each other again. A feeling of warmness filled my heart.  I pull away and go “wow… why did you keep me waiting this long?” Alex laughs, and probably doesn’t comprehend what just happened in my brain, and says “sorry!” It was truly so magical. I have never felt so sure of something in my life. I don’t know if it was the drugs, but, it was amazing. 

We both start to get a bit horny.. so we wander off. Holding hands, we head towards their car in the parking lot. It was fucking freezing by the way. Now.. I’m not sure if I should go into sexual details.. but I will say we had some amazing fun.. 

When we were done, we walked back to main stage just in time to catch Slander. Alex was going to go find their group, and I went ahead into the crowd. Now.. Slander is closing and I realize my phone is dead. I forgot to bring my portable as well. Slander played the hardest set ever, by the way. No sad songs. Just riddim. 

Slander closes the night, and I realize “fuck. There’s no way for me to text or get a hold of anyone.” I was the only one in my group that got afterparty, so they went back to the hotel and I stayed. I had friends who were camping that I could stay with, but there was no way for me to text them. Since I did get after party in the cave, for VOYD, I just start walking towards the cave. I’m in line and thinking… how am I gonna scan my ticket when my phone is dead..? Thankfully, they are able to look up your name, and I got it in! 

Afterparties in the cave hit different. I was trying to look for any of my friends that I could see. But I swear I did like 3 laps around the cave and I couldn’t recognize anyone! By the time VOYD came on I was nervous because I still haven’t found anyone. VOYD in the cave is fucking sick, by the way. Just feels so evil and primitive. 

I walk outside and I actually find a friend! But not the ones camping. We chat, and I tell them my situation. They offer to charge my phone in the car and I agree. We go back and charge the phone, but it’s bugging out and turns off and on. I start panicking, partly because this group needs to get home and I also have nowhere to go, and I don’t even know where my friends tents are because I don’t camp. 

Thankfully, they offer to let me go back to their airbnb to chill and charge my phone. I thank them graciously, scolding myself for getting into this predicament in the first place. Not my smartest decision.. and don’t worry, this group was actually really sweet. They had some of their own issues going on, so I think I was (hopefully) the least of their worries. 

We get to the cabin airbnb, and it’s so nice. I change, and get comfy on the sofa. I’m chatting and having a great time with my new friends. They even gave me some bumps! Which I gratefully took and slept like a baby. 

The next morning, my phone is fully charged. But there’s NO service. There is

WiFi, and I connect, and try to call an Uber or Lyft. Well, in buttfuck Tennessee, those don’t exist around those parts. So I’m thinking, fuck. How am I gonna get back to the hotel? Well, I can actually just go back with them to the festival, and I can have my friends bring my clothes! A great idea, I thought. Now, I just have to wait here. 

The group greeted me and were going to get breakfast. They actually invited me to eat breakfast with them, and then they would drop me off wherever I needed to go afterwards. I was so, so thankful for that. 

The breakfast was good, I made some new friends, and had some great conversations. I was also able to shower at a friend’s yurt, and have my hotel group bring my clothes! It was all working out in my favor. 

Day 3:

I get dropped off at the venue and meet with my friend to grab my clothes from the car. Then, I meet up with my other friend to shower at their yurt. Yurts are so fucking nice, by the way. They have a nice bed and bathroom/shower. I’m so getting one next year. Anyway, now that I feel all fresh and clean, I hit some dabs with my friend, and head out to the venue! 

It was pretty cold day 3, and I was wearing my skimpy green fishnet outfit. Once inside and reuniting with my group, they give me a poncho! And we dance to Dubloadz. I realize how much colder it was getting and ran to the merch booth with my friend. I get a Summoning hoodie and cloak!! It was awesome. I felt so cool and warm. Like an evil sorceress. After that, we head back to my group and let them know we are going in the PITS!! They agree and come along!

We get to the left side of the pits, just in time for HOL! He was amazing by the way. I am loving being in the crowd, the energy, the warmth. Also, for the third day, I took 2 pressed ecstasy pills, weed, and more bumps of K. (starting to think I’m a K whore). I meet up with another friend, who I start vibing with. We’ll call them X. 

X and I are talking, dancing, they’re going in the pits, and coming back. We even shared a quick kiss. I eventually get separated from my group because the crowd pushes me away. I only find X, at which point they ask me if I want to stay there or to walk with them. I say, “I wanna go with you.” And off we go. We sneak away together during a set and get back to their yurt. (Yes, X has a yurt too). 

While we are walking through the forest, the red lights illuminate the walkway. I feel so at home, like I’m at Disneyland. Holding hands, dancing to dubstep, strolling through an eerie forest. How romantic. I was truly enjoying myself, rolling balls. 

X kissed me again, and grabbed a handful of my ass. I giggle. I love that shit. We eventually get back to their yurt and have some fun… now.. I’ll skip the details for this too. But just know it was the biggest dick I’ve ever had. I was DICKMATIZED. 

When we were done, we head back to the venue. I tell X I wanna meet up with my group, and we part ways. I try to look for them, but to no avail, and decide to go back into the crowd. 

Apashe was playing, and was throwing the fuck down. I was vibing hard when out of the corner of my eye, I see someone that looks like Emorfik. I’m staring at him, thinking, is that him? Or is it a guy that just looks like him? After about 10 minutes of contemplating, I decide to go say hi. I tap his shoulder and go “excuse me, are you Emorfik?” Before he could answer, someone swooped in to take a picture with him, so I stepped aside. When they were done, he tapped me back and shook my hand. He was so sweet!! We got a few selfies together and he told me to have a good night. I was OVER THE MOON! I can’t believe I just met Emorfik!! 

Funnily enough, I run into another friend of mine and we do a happy dance! At some point, I realized I have lost my phone. I know… you’re thinking.. really? Yeah. I dropped it in the pit somewhere. And VOYD is playing. I’m too fucked to realize and try looking for it. No use. So.. I just try to enjoy the rest of VOYD’s set, which was phenomenally better than the cave set. I am alone this time, and with no actual phone. So, I leave the set a bit early to wait at my original group’s truck. Ain’t no way I’m fucking myself over again lol. My group meets me and I tell them the news. We go back home, and wrap up day 3… phoneless and dumb. 

So.. the rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We packed up, checked out of the hotel, and went to eat breakfast. We went to Milk And Honey, a cute little restaurant. After eating, we decided to walk around and explore since we had some time to kill before the flight. I actually was able to get a new iPhone because we came across an Apple Store. I was glad, because I had a long ass flight ahead of me and was going to be bored as fuck. 

So, I got home safe and sound. 

Overall, I would say Summoming was a fucking movie lol. It was my hot girl summer. Sex, drugs, and riddim. Met so many amazing people. Got myself into some dumb, reckless, irresponsible shit. But hey.. I’m alive aren’t I? Haha. Kidding. I’m a party animal, what can I say? If you read all of this, thanks. I hope my crazy life entertains you somewhat.